Monday, July 7, 2008

E-mail peeves

A couple of weeks ago, I wrote a post about my pet peeves but didn't publish it when I thought it came off as too whiny. As a replacement, I thought I would pick a specific topic to whine about: email etiquette and the crimes against.

1. The non-answer. Look, I understand that people have lives, and I don't expect a response from my every email (the conversation has to stop eventually, after all), but I do dislike it when I specifically ask someone something in an email, and I never receive an answer. It leads to my own feelings of inadequacy, as I wonder if I came off as rude in the original message, or if they just hate me now for some reason.

2. The line-by-line response. You know what I'm talking about: You say a few, unrelated things in the email, and the person answers each item between your text. For example:

It was great seeing you on Saturday.
Great to see you, too!

I was wondering if you might be available to babysit my cat...
In regards to your cat, he is a massive troublemaker...

You get the picture. I do appreciate their consideration in responding to every little thing I say - it's like a real conversation, OMG!- but despite being the polar opposite of my peeve #1, it just... makes me nervous.

3. The ALL CAPS EMAILS. My grandmother is the greatest, and presently, only, perpetrator of this oddity that I know. It's as if, in my full inbox of emails, the ALL CAPS writers feel that, if they SHOUT their emails, I will want to read them first. It's like the screamer letter that the Harry Potter kids receive at Hogwarts. God, my grandmother would so dig that.

4. The non-personal emailer. Do you have a friend (acquaintance) who only emails you when s/he emails his/her entire address book with a fascinating and thrilling account of his/her life? I do! Yay! And I can't wait till the next installment, to which I will respond, asking personal questions, but will receive no response (see peeve #1).

5. The terrible speller. This is a minor one, but again, I have this friend (yes, again!) who apparently types faster than her mind can think and thus misspells so badly that sometimes I can't make out what she's trying to say. What makes it inexcusable is, she's an editor. I know!!

I think this is probably enough for now. Do I really need to go into the angel-kissing spam messages and email stationery and emoticons? I think not.