Thoughts about Oscar

I thought this year's Academy Awards was a pretty good show! You can see below that I ended up liveblogging it, but it was an experiment, as I've never liveblogged before. I had fun, but I see that I made a lot of spelling errors due to typing and posting too quickly.

So, what worked about the show, and what didn't? (Why does anyone care? Why, I care so you don't have to!)

Hugh Jackman as host. Can it be that, after all these failed hosts, Oscar has found Mr. Right? He's charming, handsome, funny (and not the forced, "I'm-a-comedian-and-have-to-be-funny funny), and he can put on show by himself. Hugh is the kind of person who, if you were alone with him on a desert island, he would totally endeavor to entertain you all day, and you would love every minute. Wait: alone on a desert island with Hugh Jackman? Where is my mind going here? Give me just a minute, will you?

The 5 presenters for 5 nominees schtick. You know how, each year, the AAs come up with some clever (read: NOT CLEVER), new schtick that they try very hard to make work? Remember when they made the "non-important" winners like Sound, Makeup, and Costume Designers stand in the audience and give their acceptance speech at their seats? Or the year they stuck Donald Sutherland and Glenn Close up in the balcony to give commentary like the Muppet Old Men except not funny? Yeah, those were great ideas. And this year did not disappoint, as each acting award was presented by 5 previous winners giving personal, gag-inducing tributes to each of the noms. Why can't we just watch 20-second clips of their performances? This presentation effort felt like a fraternity/sorority tribute to its new pledges. Yuck. I can't wait to see what they'll come up with next year!

Judd Apatow's Short Film. I haven't seen Pineapple Express, but now I want to because James Franco is an adorable stoner. I loved how they were dying laughing at The Reader and Doubt, and how James felt moved by his big kiss scene with Sean Penn. In fact, it's so enjoyable, I've posted it here for your viewing pleasure:



So, other than that: not much more to say about the show quality itself. As for the awards, there were pretty much no surprises. This is the first time in many years that I agree with the Best Film winner, and even the Best Actress winner did not dissolve into a puddle of wailing crocodile tears (I'm looking at you: Roberts, Paltrow, Swank....).

Let me just leave you with one little thought: are you seeing how the AAs are slipping away from America? This is the second year in a row that almost all the acting awards have gone to non-Americans (last year was 4-for-4), and this year, even the Best Film and big sweeper wasn't American. I support the AAs being international; I'm just saying that Hollywood might consider coming up with some better ideas, and American actors might step up their game, or at this rate, we'll be watching los Oscaros next year televised from Mumbai or Toronto or something.

SLUMDOG, BIATCHES. Take a lesson, Hollywood. Depressing movies only win if you put a happy love story in them.
Goodnight, mateys! Gotta join Hugh for some Hollywood parties!

Sure, thank Mickey now. After you stole his Oscar!

Mickey was robbed!!! At least there was one upset.

Is Mickey Rourke tired of hearing about how he f*cked up and then made a comeback?

Kate just told Meryl to suck it! Wow!

Nicole Kidman has "two turkeys nesting in her titties." (Thanks, Mr. P)

I'm really glad that Sophia Loren made it out of that tanning bed.

Best actress category: bring on the waterworks.

Jack Nicholson is not here tonight. This is a new era.

Danny Boyle for Slumdog! Suck it, Benjamin Button!

Reese is not wearing silver. I'm not sure what she's wearing, but it's really drapy. (drapey?)

I would hate to be the Presenter for the Deceased. Oh, my god; she's singing, too.

#6 for the 'dog. Bollywood is kicking Hollywood's ASS tonight.

I think this is #5 for Slumdog. Woof!

The musical score cat is boring. Slumdog is the only one that stands out.

Jerry Lewis is almost 83 years old! Dude looks good.

Wait, a tribute to Jerry Lewis? What is this, France?

Slumdog, #4! Holy Bollywood! Wait, what category is this? Seriously, I think I just fell asleep.

"Hugh is napping." Heh. Well, he does have a big job.

Dark Knight gets sound editing. Huzzah.

Benjamin Button is sweeping the artistic and technical categories. Probably not what Brad intended, exactly.

The car montage features this year's best and worst movies.

Best Documentary: MAN ON WIRE. Another disguised Best Film of the Year category.

Wow, I can't imagine how difficult that was for the Ledger family. Total class act.

Robert Downey Jr is pissed the Cuba Gooding Jr is presenting him. Wait, they're both juniors! I get it.

Philip Seymour Hoffman is dressed like a thief tonight.

OMG: Best Supporting Actor. I'm actually nervous.

"and more of Hugh Jackman," says the presenter. Oh, well, in that case! I'll stay put!

Hugh is really excited that the musical is back. He is so gay.

Ok, I'll give it her: B. is better at the showtunes than her own stuff.

Oh, god. Beyonce. Just when the show was going so well!

Hee, awesome film, Apatow.

Scientific category, and Jessica Biel is wearing SILVER. What a surprise. I'm gettin' a snack. See ya in a sec.

I'm glad Natalie wore pink. I thought my eyes were losing the ability to see color.

2nd Slumdog, bitches!! Not slummin' it anymore, eh?

Oh, SNAP! Stiller is playing Phoenix! Good think he's not there.

Ok, makeup for Benjamin Button. But that is IT, ok?

Godammit, why is Sarah J Parker still on the stage? For pete's sake.

They honored the hats in the Duchess. A deserving award.

Art Direction: this better be the only award Benjamin Button gets tonight.

SJP spent three hours setting her boobs tonight.

I just noticed that my blog is on California time. It's like I'm really there!

Why is the supporting actor category so much later than supporting actress. It's sexist.

Wall-E! Ee-va! It's funny that they put in an best animated film category since Pixar has been making the years' best films since they've been in business. This is the real Best Film of the Year category.

ALL of the women are wearing sliver tonight. Stop it!

Slumdog, bitches!!!!

MILKin' the first biggie! (Besides supporting). Sean is not angry.

Mocking Scientology! What's wrong with this show? Why is it actually funny?

Now, see: Penelope giving her acceptance speech in a language that is not her first, and she is controlled and interesting. Take notes, Americans.

Oh, I get it. 5 presenters for 5 nominees. We're in for a long night.

Ladies and gentleman: this a record. No mention of Jack Nicholson yet! Good sign!

You know, if you have to do a movie musical montage, you could do worse than Hugh Jackman and homemade sets.

Marisa Tomei is wearing origami. Still, she looks gorgeous. Dammit, people. Give me something to work with here.

Ah, they're honoring the accountants. How sweet. Good thing they're not bankers, or this would be a different montage.

Dresses are on the bland side this year. Where is the fuschia, wings, and door knockers? C'mon people.

Robert Downey Junior looks normal and good! That wife has been good for him.

The Slumdog kids are adorable. I hope they get fat royalty checks for the rest of their lives.

So far, no crazy outfits, but Sarah Jessica Parker just corrected her interviewer on his French, "Christian Dior haute couture," and it didn't sound any different than how the guy said it.

The Oscars are here! Bring on the crazy!

Life is better with a dog

Disclaimer: I know I'm turning into an annoying dog owner. But I just have to say: living with a dog for just two months now has actually improved my life. Here's how!

I exercise. Before having a dog, I would use my treadmill, maybe, two or three times a week, in addition to one leisurely walk per day. Mr. P and I used to walk on the slow side - no speed walking for us, no siree! But now, not only do we have to walk at least twice daily (usually three times), we have to walk a few miles in the morning to properly tire out the dog, and at a rather brisk pace. Mr. P has already dropped two pant sizes, and his latest new pair of jeans is already falling off him! I feel a little firmer, too, though I'm not sure if I've lost inches or weight. My energy level is definitely better, though.

I smile in the mornings. I've never been a morning person, and as I get older, I worry about things, so I used to start every morning with thoughts of dread. Isn't that sad? But now, even if I have the same worries, seeing the dog smile and wag his tail at me first thing in the morning makes me smile, too.

I am more organized. Whatever is not put away - especially shoes - is fair game for the dog. Dutchie believes that all paper exists for his shredding amusement. Which is annoying, and I hope he grows out of this, but in the meantime, I need to pick up after myself. I forgot how "the dog ate my homework" was once a valid excuse.

I have moments of unabashed joy. You know how children have that innocent lust for life? So do dogs. When I play with Dutchie, I am able to escape my burdens and realize that running through a field at top speed is the greatest thing in the world.

Someone understands me (warning: annoying post)

I'm not completely sure that I didn't write this.

It's a little cold and sarcastic for something that I might write, but it speaks the truth: the truth I'm afraid to say out loud. I'm turning 37 in just a few months, so the end of my childbearing years are growing nigh. Will I do it? Will I abstain?

Stay tuned.